Need some crackers, Casper?

Cheese.  It's what's on the menu lately.  As soon as I told my heart it was okay... it shoots off into the sky like a rocket batted from Cape Canaveral.  And I haven't seen neither hide nor hair of it since.  It isn't every day that I let it get away... in fact, hardly ever.  I can count on one hand, actually.  And each time, I fall into this sappy sweet sickening mess.... It got me to thinking about how my CHEESE is perceived.

The first time, I was in high school - freshman year.  I dated this boy that I had a mad crush on.  He wasn't just any boy... he was on the football team, tall and handsome and I figured out of my league.  As soon as the sparks started flying (in our two week soiree) and I wrote love notes, drawings and the like, the kid left a rooster tail of mud and deep tracks trying to get away from me....

The second time, I was still in high school (senior year) and I was dating this man that was a few years older than me.  It took me a while to come around to the love quotient... but when I did, he actually reciprocated.  He was a flowers and love notes kind of guy... I was a love notes and mixed tape kind of girl.  It was a lot of fun till he lost his crackers... and I had nothing to pair with my cheese.

The third time, which I thought would be the charm, came right after the second.  I fell so hard and so fast with very little warning.  But he didn't have enough bark to catch the sap... so it oozed to the ground and made a sticky mess of everything.  When I got a chance to further that connection a decade later, it happened all over again, like I didn't learn a thing the first time around.  I spent some time thinking about what are common stumbling blocks in ANY relationship (even those with no romantic interest) and decided on a little game.  I proudly purchased all of the crap I needed to construct this little game.  The idea was - every time you felt appreciation towards your partner, you would place a shiny heart in their jar... just to let them know, even if you didn't get around to personally doing so.  I sunk a lot of thought into this one.  When the gift was received, I got accused of fabricating a competition.  I was a love letters, poetry writing, mixed tape, silly gifts, thoughtful gestures kind of a girl that had no outlet.  So I shut the faucet off and I haven't used it in a few years.

Now, as I know that it will happen at any moment since I have allowed myself the option of loving again... I think something got stuck in the pipes.  I have a feeling that once obtrusive object is removed... somebody better watch themselves.... either he or me... I haven't decided.  We already gross people out because we act like a bunch of crazed buffoons.  And little non-monetary tokens, such as words, have been slightly exchanged.  Just hope he has galoshes... cause I sense a cut loose... a dam busting open... and I'll do it as good as any white girl can...

Cheese... who'da thunk.  What a dork.